i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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