I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
