Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize