wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
