i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
