is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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