Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Its about making memories worth repressing
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize