Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
