We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
