hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Randomize
