oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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