Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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