I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
