I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
