I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
