What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize