OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
