They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Buhtt sex?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
