Fuck appropriateness.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
