He is an equal opportunity slut.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
