I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
