This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
