the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Shame - the story of my life.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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