At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
