i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
