You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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