as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
