Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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