I'm really into asian looking animals
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
