i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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