i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
