So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My first STD was from a foam party
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
