Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
