I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
