How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
