How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
