I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
