you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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