i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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