He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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