and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
