just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
