I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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