You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
