If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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