Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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