he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
