I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Randomize
