drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
