i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
