They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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