I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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