The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
pop tarts are not kleenex
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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