Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
