We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
