he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize