...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
